FAQ

What if we get to the end of the day and have not reached agreement?

Sometimes complex situations need more than one meeting.
It may be that the progress we have already made will enable you to work things out together without further mediation.
If more support feels helpful I can offer additional sessions.
In some cases we can explore Insight Mediation a way to explore difficulties in a bit more depth.

What if I feel under pressure to settle or my concerns are not being properly heard?

It’s important that no one feels under undue pressure or that their voice has not been heard.
It’s part of my role to help ensure that everyone feels free to make decisions at their own pace and in their own time.
If something feels rushed or unresolved we can pause certain issues and come back to them later. In any case I recommend to all parties reviewing an agreement that before making it final, they sleep on it. If more time is needed we can arrange additional sessions.
Sometimes Insight Mediation provides an opportunity to explore concerns misgivings or persistent hard feelings safely and in more depth.
If it ever feels like respectful listening has become impossible, I may suggest that we suspend, and if necessary stop the mediation process.

What is an Agreement to Mediate?

Before we begin our process everyone is asked to sign an “Agreement to Mediate.”
This is a commitment to engage in good faith in a safe and confidential space.
It’s important that everyone feels they can speak freely, knowing that what they say won’t go any further. These are our shared undertakings:

Confidentiality We agree that whatever is said in a Mediation session stays there, unless everyone agrees otherwise. We don’t discuss what others have said outside the process, record any part of our conversations or post about them on social media.
Impartiality As your Mediator I’m here to listen and to help find common ground. I remain impartial and do not take sides.
Responsibility Everyone joins the process voluntarily on the understanding that the mediation process is confidential and is not admissable as evidence in a courtroom.
Exceptions Rarely, something said might need to be shared in strict confidence if there is a safeguarding issue or concerns about professional conduct.
I will be happy to talk through this agreement and answer any questions before we begin.

Who can't you Mediate with?

Although I welcome a range of different clients and situations, there are limits to what I can do in mediation.
Sometimes, people are triggered or re-traumatised and although I have some trauma-awareness:
I am not a psychotherapist or a mindfulness teacher.
I do not offer trauma therapy, or behavioural intervention.
My focus is more to help people to hear and be heard when they are ready and willing to come together in good faith.
If it becomes clear that anyone needs other forms of support which are beyond my scope as a facilitator I will always try to suggest such pathways gently and thoughtfully.
Here are some other situations which will make mediation unsustainable:

If either person is refusing to attend or acknowledge the other’s perspective at all
If either person has an untreated condition that impairs their ability to participate safely or reasonably.
If either person is under the influence of alcohol or mind altering drugs
If either person is involved in abusive or harmful behaviour,
If either person is using the process to control or intimidate the other person either through active coercion or more subtly.
If either person has a pre-existing relationship with the mediator which could compromise his impartiality.

How do we know you are impartial?

I do my best to be transparent in all my dealings.
Before entering into mediation we will have a conversation either live or online.
This gives me an opportunity to check there is no pre-existing relationship, or anything else which might lead to bias either way.
After the call I will review my responses for unconscious biases.
If anything emerges that might skew my impartiality I will share it with you and if we agree it’s best we don’t continue, I can suggest another mediator, and you can make your own enquiries.

I'm interested, but I can't see my partner doing this.

If you have invited your partner to participate and they have declined, please get in touch and we can talk about it.

What if we are seeking to divorce?

While I don’t offer legal advice or handle divorce directly I’m happy to talk through whatever support might be right for your situation.
I could offer Insight Mediation sessions to help clarify issues especially if divorce papers have not yet been served.
I can also refer you to other mediators who specialise in divorce.

What if I need to cancel?

If you cancel with at least twenty-four hours’ notice (and don’t wish to reschedule) I’ll refund the full fee. (see How do I pay? below)
If you cancel with less that twenty-four hours’ notice (and don’t wish to reschedule) at my discretion I may refund all or part of the fee. I may wish to retain a portion to cover time already spent preparing.
Sometimes it’s unavoidable – plans do have to change at short notice. If something comes up please getting in touch as soon as you can it will help everyone.

What if I have a complaint?

Your feedback matters – It helps ensure that the process is fair and supportive for everyone.
I welcome the opportunity to listen and to put things right where I can.
I want you to feel comfortable sharing any concerns about the process.
If something is concerning you please feel free to contact me directly
If we’re not able to sort things out together you can contact, my professional regulatory body, UK Mediation, which offers a formal complaints procedure.

How do I pay?

I accept online payments (Stripe or Visa) or bank transfer – whichever works best for you.
Payment for Mediation One, (the one-to-one briefing) is £35.00 – payable on booking.
For Mediation Two, (the joint meeting) I offer a joint hourly rate of £70.00.
Most people choose to split the cost between them.
If you’d like to talk about payment by instalments just let me know